One day a young student
at the Buddhist monastery goes to meditate with two monks as part of his education, they go to the opposite side of the lake from the
monastery and are about to start their morning meditation when the first monk says,
"oh no I forgot my mat", so walks up to the lake and walks calmly across the surface of the water to the
monastery and returns with his mat. Suddenly the second monk says
"oh no I've forgotten my sun hat" so he runs across the surface of the water to the
monastery and returns with a straw hat. The student is astounded by this and at the end of the meditation he tries to walk across the water. He falls straight in and emerges soaking wet, the two monks look on and after watching his failed attempts for a while the first monk says to the second
"do you think we should tell him where the stones are!".
2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root, it will cure you.
1000 A.D. - That root is poison, say this prayer.
1850 A.D. - That prayer is pure superstition, drink this potion.
1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill.
1985 A.D. - That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic.
2000 A.D. - That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.
risk to Velcro crop!
Politics of Cows
White House Acts to Repeal Law of Karma
Buddhist satirist PB Law reports on the White House's announcement that it will
request Congress to legislate an end to the law of karma and to require all
Buddhist organizations to remove any reference to karma from their beliefs.
...So Buddhists will have to get with the program
and accept these mainstream American truths if they want their religion to
survive in the US.
Why don't Buddhists vacuum in the corners?
Because they have no attachments!
A peanut stood upon the track,
its heart was all a-flutter.
Along came the five-fifteen,
SQUISH, peanut butter.
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a
lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
A woman went to a Psychiatrist with her troubles. "Doctor,
you must help me," she pleaded.
"It's gotten so that every time I meet a nice guy, I end up in bed with him.
And then afterward, I feel really guilty and depressed."
"I see," nodded the psychiatrist. "no doubt you want me to
strengthen your will power and resolve in this matter?"
"For God's sake, NO!" exclaimed the woman. "I want you to fix it
so I won't feel guilty and depressed afterward.
People used to explore the dimensions of reality by taking
LSD to make the world look weird. Now the world is weird and they take Prozac to
make it look normal.
A lim-rick or two at first,
and soon you are scorned at and cursed!
So stop right today,
That rhyming away,
Lest things go from bad to versed!
A real food movie -
The Meatrix - Not really a joke,
more of a horror story with moral overtones worth hearing.